Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Day 7: I still want to come to your dinner party



One of the main things I have learnt from my seven days of trial veganism is the animosity between the world and vegans. As if it isn't hard enough already, everyone hates you. The most surprising branch of all rejection coming from the vegans supposed good friend... the vegetarian. I've always avoided conversations about my vegetarianism as it inevitably leads to having to explain oneself. Much like the conversations that were guaranteed after shaving my head last year. Anything beyond 'the usual' seemingly requires explanation, on demand. The vegan talk really is entering into the abyss.

The world of 'trial' veganism is especially interesting as its likely impermanence provides sacred territory. It has allowed me to raise the subject with carnivores* without total revulsion. I've laughed along with the inescapable mockery, glad to retain my place in the inner circle of carnivorous conversation. Carnivores are not so disturbed by the idea of giving it a go because they chuckle knowing that, poor fool, you will soon realise there is nothing you could possibly eat with sufficient protein for survival and thus you will be licking the walls of the nearest KFC any minute now.

The vegetarians meanwhile offer a different type of ridicule, adding lines like, "well I'm already a vegetarian". In my pre-vegan days (NB: this will be called pregan forevermore) I admired the vegan but somewhere deep down also suspected there was a good chance they would be a sanctimonious twat. Oh dear, it seems that was me, albeit an ignorant one. When I signed up to trial vegetarianism five years ago, a part of me smugly thought that I would no longer need to turn guiltily from e.g. animal rights protesters. The pictures of cute little beagles with bulging eyes, skinny, ratty chickens with no feathers etc would no longer be anything to do with me, because I was now a vegetarian. Little did I know that I was simply avoiding the obvious bits of flesh and bone and eating or drinking them in many other ways.

To despise someone purely for a chosen way of life ultimately falls under the term: discrimination. As with any type of discrimination, this largely comes down to a fear of the unknown or a lack of understanding. Without any instruction: religious, health industry or otherwise, only an attention seeking dickhead, or an annoying hippie could possibly want to impose the vegan lifestyle on themselves. Right? Not really. I like to think we would all be entitled to make these decisions for ourselves and not terrify our nearest and dearest as a result, so perhaps we can all agree to make things a bit easier for each other and share the knowledge?

Food industry and retailers: if you can labels on things to say they're vegetarian, Kosher, Halal, Gluten free etc, why can't you do the same for vegans?
M&S you get a special mention here as you offended me enormously when you forced me to fail the trial last night. Rather than help the vegans out, you offer one slimming company (Weight Watchers) your support by providing their official point count on your packaging. If people can't work their diet out from the already explicit nutritional information clearly provided on the front of your products, wouldn't your money be better spent on national maths classes?

Friends: please find as follows some ways that we can maintain a social life without my dietary choices making me a massive irritation, an attention seeking dickhead or an annoying hippie..

PUB
Grolsch - VEGAN
Tyrells crisps - VEGAN
for later on... my favourite... Matusalem Rum - VEGAN

POST PUB SNACKING
Bread: Hovis, Co-op and some others - VEGAN (not all though, pig enzymes lurk somewhere in there and are cooked out so don't need to be listed as an ingredient apparently)
Peanut Butter: the greatest ever... Meridian -  VEGAN
more crisps: spicy sweet chilli Doritos - VEGAN

DINNER SUGGESTION ONE (I think an easy way to think of it is no dairy, no packets of lazy stuff you didn't make and keep it indian, because oil, spices and garlic do all the work without cheesey buttery stuff)
Starter: Aloo Gobi - VEGAN
Main: Mushroom curry - VEGAN (fresh tomatoes/ coconut milk are marvellous thank you)
Side dish: Dahl - VEGAN
If you really like me you can even make us some popadoms. Yup. Lime pickle too. Yup yup.


if you're worried about my protein intake, read on:


Things you can cook me:


or we could just meet at Mildreds?




* omnivores, the 99%, whichever you prefer