(source: http://southfloridadailyblog.blogspot.com/2011/12/tears-of-clown.html)
This is a day late. I sincerely apologise, however please understand that I really do have a rash. I look like a clown and I blame it on this arse ache of a new diet. I have given up my best friends (butter and white sugar), scrambled eggs and eating in a hurry and the thanks I get for it is a stupid looking, lumpy face. Well thank you animal kingdom, thanks a lot, I really enjoy looking like an embarrassed bag of potatoes on a body.
I've suffered facial rashes before, however can categorically deny the following alternative explanations:
- Stubble rash*
- Shaving rash
- Impetigo
- Facial herpes
- Hepititas C
- Leprosy
While I can't really deny them all with certainty, I don't yet have whiskers to shave, my face hasn't been that near any others since being vegan, I haven't changed soap powder, face cream etc etc and there's just no good reason to accept the possibility of anything else.
Google self diagnosis is among my favourite ways to while away small nuggets of time e.g. using a smartphone whilst on the toilet (I consider this a valuable opportunity to multi-task), so when catching a glimpse of my strange, lumpy face in the mirror upon entering a bathroom, I immediately set to it.
http://www.detox.net.au/articles/chronic-fatigue-syndrome-cfs-elimination-diet.html
This Australian detox website offered some valuable 'facts' for the day. According to them, a facial rash is a common food allergy and intolerance symptom, as is;
"Unexplained intermittent +/- sudden irritability, depression, hyperactivity, anxiety, anger, crying, giggling, hiding in dark places, rage, vulgarity, not wanting to be touched"
Hiding in dark places is just brilliant! That one aside, it seems I am allergic to food.
Another internet 'health' forum recommended Vagisil for some poor blighter with a rash on their face. VAGISIL! The clue's in the name, let's hope they realised that before smearing it around their eyes!
* I recommend googling 'stubble rash'. I suspect lots of those people would be disturbed to know how their images were discovered. Here's a good one:
(source: http://prince.org/msg/100/324630?&pg=8)
Anyway, enough, I'm off to make a mask. Adios.
