I repeat, indigestion is the new contraception. I've figured it all out at last. Nevermind torturous months of going mental thanks to the pill, cervix-prodding induced shock hallucinations or having a weird bit of rice stuck in your arm for a few years, go vegan for two weeks then get to your nearest vegetarian restaurant. Order something fried and vegan, followed by something else also fried and vegan. Accompany this with three legal ciders and chase it all down with some Sagres. I swear you will never want to be naked in anyone's company ever again. If you don't feel like you're still eating the entire meal the next day, you will at least have the trots. Well, it's just a theory anyway. While I'm on the subject, if that doesn't do it envisage this; the sound of a hysterical child screaming ferociously in a swimming pool changing room being told, "calm down darling, mummy just needs to get you warm and then dry your bits and bobs"*. Shudder. Having to emotionally reason with someone in order to dry their bits and bobs, really doesn't sound like the career move I've been looking for.
I'm not sure if I should now continue to give more details about my particular local vegetarian restaurant, however in the name of honesty and integrity I will: Terre a Terre in Brighton.
source: http://www.veggieplaces.co.uk/list_reviews.php?place_id=237
Since moving here I've been told that I have to go there blah blah. The kind of raving that I hate hearing about anywhere or anything really; a film, book, whatever, it just annoys me as I feel like I can only be disappointed. Almost disappointingly, I was not at all disappointed and infact really did have a good night. It's just a bit of a shame that I can still taste it.
The staff were fantastic, without exception, something that is particularly important to me. Having had significant experience in hospitality and customer facing roles, I find it absolutely unforgivable to receive shit service in a restaurant. They were tested (ACCIDENTALLY I SWEAR) when I forgot to request the vegan Rosti Raj for my main meal and only realised when the beautifully presented cheesy vegetarian version was laid before me. After some hesitation and prompting by my dining companion, I told the waitress my error and she immediately took the plate away and ordered the vegan version. Despite the risk that I received mysterious kitchen punishment for my error, it was replaced super quickly, looked beautiful, tasted divine and contained no death. The churros for dessert were also quite good, but not something I would ordinarily choose after having had a largely fried main course. The chocolate sauce was a real treat as it tasted like something a regular, pregan me would have eaten. When asked about the ingredients, the waitress brought over a folder with the ingredients listed for all to see. Marvellous! I must also commend the extensive alcohol and wine list with it's plentiful vegan options.
Being as opinionated as I am means I couldn't possibly leave without a minor gripe or two;
1. The decor. It just is not to my taste at all. It's boring, looks a bit cheap and the chairs were really uncomfortable. I normally would never mention something like that but I couldn't cross my legs under the table as there wasn't enough room! Yeah, yeah, it's probably bad for my digestion or something but sometimes, I like to cross my legs and they're really not that big, so it really shouldn't be an issue!
2. The vegan options on the paupers menu. Among the reasons for going there yesterday was that a friend had given us some vouchers to get two courses for £15. The vegan options for both the main course and dessert were fried, which was a little annoying as it's very likely to be the reason I am suffering today and there were other healthier options on the main menu!
My gripes were small and overall I would recommend it. I will definitely be back as the menu looks like it would satisfy meat-eaters, veggies, vegans and allergy-ridden diners, however I will be trying Food for Friends and Aloka first.
* I apologise if you are the woman that uttered these words but if you and that child are going to shout about it, expect to be blogged about.
